Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Today is Wednesday the 27th. Today is another day of silence. Today will probably be the day I go crazy. Up until today I really have not had any extreme difficulties with keeping quiet in class. The days prior I was able to just occupy my time that I normally spent talking, with things like my cell phone, facebook, or just doodling. Today is also the first day that I've been forced to be quiet while I have been stressed out and I really think that is why it's so much harder today. There are so many thoughts going through my head that normally I can vent out to someone, but today is a day when I cannot. I could, sure, write them out and show them to someone, but it wouldn't have the same effect and wouldn't show my frustration. Not being able to talk about the things that are stuck in my head is driving me near crazy. I can hear it echo'ing even now. Ex-girlfriend, homework due tonight at midnight, homework due tomorrow, pledge week, my best friend has cancer, and lots of how am I going to do this all. In every single one of my classes today at one point or another I desperately wanted to speak, whether it was legitimate or whether I had the simple urge to say something obnoxious. Instead of venting out my thoughts I have been having to write them down almost like a 'To Do' list to get the thoughts out of my head. The effect of stress with not talking isn't really something I thought about dealing with when I initially took this project up. I am fairly certain if I was stuck not being able to express my thoughts forever, I would have to check myself into an insane asylum.